Influenza

30 weeks pregnant!!! 10 weeks to go.

Holy cow! I feel like I should be panicking, but I am not at all. It is such a relief to know that I am not having to care for this baby after birth. I keep thinking of all the things I would have to be doing and getting ready if this were our baby. Boy, am I glad I don't have to do any of that. Don't get me wrong, I am not completely heartless, I do expect some sadness and many tears once this is over. But happy tears and happy sadness (there is such a thing, right?) I will be sad when the experience is over. I have learned so much about myself, my body (pregnancy #2 is WAAAY different than pregnancy #1), my marriage ( I have an amazingly supportive husband, clearly), and patience. I think patience is a big one, surrogacy is kind of a long drawn out process. I am sure even more so for the intended parents than me.

Some days when I don't want to be pregnant anymore I have to look deep inside for the purpose of this. It is not that hard when you are having your own baby to look forward to. But thinking of F&D with their new addition brings a HUGE smile to my face. They are going to be wonderful parents and I am so excited to be a part of their journey. So, mostly the honor I feel and gratefulness gets me through those rough days (and there aren't many.)

This winter/pregnancy has kind of been kicking my butt with colds. . . . and now the dreaded influenza. BLAH!! Mike had been sick for a few days, NyQuil'd up and was better. Then Olivia was sick with an eye infection and then . . . me. So when I went for my regular OB appointment, I mentioned it and I thought I would just get on the Z-pack and be fine in a day or two. Well turns out, I have influenza. :(

I honestly don't recall ever actually having a confirmed case of the flu. You know, people use the term so loosely these days, with self diagnosis and all. ( I admit I am a self diagnoser too!!) But this time it is for real- lab confirmed and all. And if any of you have had the flu confirmed, you know that sticking a Q-tip six inches into your nose is no joke!!! OUCHY WAHWAH!!!

So, now I sit, as I have since Wednesday afternoon, in my room curled up in bed. A bed Mike has vacated since the diagnosis. I am soooo bored!! I tend to count things, stripes on the wall (6), ceiling fan blades (5), indentations on the door (5, 10 if I am also counting the closet door). As you can tell these numbers aren't very high at all and must be continues over and over to actually eat up some time. When I am not counting, I am sleeping and SWEATING! I am currently taking Tamiflu, a side effect being extreme night sweats. They are horrible. Not the sweating so much, because that happens when I am sleeping, but the second I wake up, it is as if a switch is flipped and I am freezing, shivering and soaking wet. Last night I woke up once and the whole bed and my clothes were wet, my first thought was MY WATER BROKE! And then I remembered -- oh I am just a sweaty mess, and I have to change clothes, again.

While I am feeling much better, I can't seem to find the strength or stamina to do much of anything required to keep this household running. Thank goodness for mothers. My mom drove down Wednesday night (a 4hour drive) to stay with me. This enabled Mike to go to work, where he is also desperalty needed and felt very torn with the decision to stay home or go to work. She spent the day entertaining Olivia and letting me rest. Which made me feel completely at ease. I would wake up from a nap and just sit and listen to those two interacting, they are soooo cute.

This post may not be much about the baby/pregnancy, but that is because it is still the same. Easy going, not much to report. Oh, the doctor did say he will be about 7.5 - 8 lbs. Which to me seems like a whooper - since Olivia was only 6.2. But I guess this is an average size baby. So in 10 weeks we shall see.

Until then I am going to try to avoid sick people. HA - yea right!

23 weeks and counting. . . . .

Made it through the halfway mark. And very excited for the second half. I love that I am no longer in that "Is she pregnant or just kind of chubby?" stage!! haha ;)

F&D have decided to name the baby Michael. After F's father. So we refer to him around the house as baby Michael -- which for some odd reason always reminds me of Michael Jackson. Weird, I know.

Not much has happened since my last post. Michael is a very active baby --- always moving! He seems to be much lower than Olivia was (at least as I remember it). So, I feel him a lot more internally, although I still seem my tummy moving and shaking during the day as well. He likes to eat -- every time I eat, he is up and at 'em!!

All measurements are normal, weight, heart beats, all that jazz is looking great!!

I go back to the doctor in another four weeks and then I have to have my gestational diabetes test. EWW. I hate that orange glucose drink, it is terrible. Like a super fizzy orange soda, that has to be drank/drunk (?) in 3 minutes. It is really hard to drink when you are burping and gagging. :/ Meh.

That is it for now. Maybe soon I will get some belly pictures up -- Lord knows it is ready for it's close up!!

Amnio and sex

Had the amnio last week. . . .and. . . . . . it's . . . . . . a. . . . . . boy!!!

Before the amnio Mike and I had to go to a genetic testing lab on 124th Street. Only for a quick cheek swab. Well it would have been quick if they didn't have a highschool girl running the office, who was 15 minutes late for work!!! She also tried to tell us an awkward story of a Thanksgiving fight she had with her sister. WEIRD! Anyway, that was in the morning before the amnio!

The ultrasound tech did a quick check on the baby first and found out that he was he!!! Yea! But determined he was still too little to do the "big" ultrasound, still has a tiny little heart. Nothing to be alarmed about, completely normal. So I go back in about 4 weeks for that.

First of all, anyone who tells you an amnio does not hurt . . . .is wrong, or a man!! I was told it would just feel like a lot of pressure. Well, if by pressure the doctor meant pain, then he was right. The one thing I absolutely HATE about doctors is when they make me feel like I am lying or not knowing what I am talking about. Case and point: During the amnio (as the needle is in my uterus) I must have been making painful facials, well I know I was, and the doctor asked me if it hurt. I said yes!!! He asked what the pain felt like and I responded simply --Like you are sticking a needle into my stomach. He replied by looking back at the med student and saying, it just feels like a contraction. He said it in a very dismissive manner. If I was more of a confrontational person, my response would have been something like this: "Um, no sir. Actually it is a very sharp pain deep inside of my uterus, I can feel you pulling amniotic fluid out!! Also, I have had contractions before, and THIS IS NOT IT!!" But instead I kept my mouth closed and my eyes closed even tighter until it was over. I also had Mike's hand in quite grip!! ;)

After it was over the nurse went to put a band aid on my stomach. Then I sat up and finally got to take a look at my stomach, only to realize the nurse was about three inches off with her band-aid placement!! What schmucks!!!

The preliminary results came back and confirmed the sex. It also showed that he is a healthy baby boy, no Downs Syndrome, Sickle Cell Anemia, or any other ailments. Which really was not a big surprise since the egg and sperm donors are in their 20's. But since the test was done, they decided to check everything!!

So, now we wait for the paternity/maternity results. This should take two weeks (one week from now, since it took me a week to sit down and write this) and then hopefully the appropriate people can take this info to a judge and get everything squared away!!

I am 17 weeks now, crazy to think this is about halfway done!! As much "work" as being pregnant is and the changes I go through and have put my family through, I just LOVE it!! I LOVE BEING PREGNANT!! I mentioned to Mike that maybe since this is a boy, F&D might want to try again for a girl!! Maybe I would be lucky enough to carry another one for them?? Mike is not so keen on the idea. . . ..yet. I will bring him around!! ;)

15 weeks

So a long time has past and remarkably not many exciting things have happened in the time passed.

I was supposed to have a CVS (chorionic villus sampling - kind of like an amnio but instead of removing amniotic fluid they take chorionic villi from the placenta). I needed to have this test done for legal purposes, to determine that the baby is not Mike and I's baby. Goodness gracious.

Well after about 2 hours worth of paperwork, explanations and ultrasounds, the doctor decided that it was too dangerous for the baby to have this procedure. Since I had a subchorionic bleed that was pretty large and not bled out yet. It was just adding another danger to the baby, and it was unnecessary at that time. So. . . . . . I wait.

Ironically two days later I bled out. But I rescheduled to have an amnio on Friday, November 26th. So, I will go then. I think they will also be doing the "big" ultrasound -- I am sure that there is a more medical term than "big", but that will have to do for now. haha It will be the ultrasound where they look at all of the organs individually.

Also, with the amnio they will find out the sex of the baby. I am excited!! I know D wants a girl, I think F will be fine with anything. Well, they both will of course ;) So, we'll see. I think it is a girl. . . . . .about a week and we shall know. Olivia keeps calling the baby a girl. . . maybe it is intuition???

Hopefully shortly after the amnio all legal aspects will FINALLY be worked out as well.

Until then I will continue on growing -- I am huge!! Compared to what I was with Olivia. I was unaware of the difference of the tow pregnancies. My doctor explained to me about how my abdominal muscles after my first pregnancy never "glued"--another technical term ;) -- back together (no woman's do). Since they cann move mych easier now, my intestines are able to move them this time, instead of in the first pregnancy when my muscles didn't spread until about 24 weeks.

Did that make sense?? Sorry, I may not be the best person at explaining things. haha

A bit of a scare

Two nights ago there was a bit of a baby scare.

At about 8:30pm Wednesday night I started bleeding, a lot. I was scared out of my mind. First of all, I thought immediately MISCARRIAGE. After the fourth or fifth trip to the bathroom, I started thinking about myself. I was losing quite a bit of blood.

I called the fertility doctor, and he was very calm, and seemed undisturbed. Which bother me since I thought I was bleeding to death. (Clearly wasn't -- but I was a bit panicked). He told me to come in the next morning for an ultrasound.

That drive to Highland Park was the loooongest ever!!!! My mind wouldn't stop going back and forth. But one thing I did come back to was that I really still felt pregnant. So, that was good, but still just a feeling.

The ultrasound tech took the intended mother (who met me there) and I back right away and was very comforting. Which in turn was a little "uncomforting".

But, alas, all is well. Well, kind of.

The baby is fine. Me on the other hand --- I have developed a subchorionic bleed. something that occurs when the embryo is attached to my uterine lining. I had one earlier - about 4 weeks along, but it went away, no bleeding, all was well. Apparently another has popped up. This one is much larger and has developed right at the top of my cervical opening, so I will bleed until the thing has bleed out completely. The tech said that the baby could care less about this bleed and that he/she was doing just great.

Unfortunately the bleed can reoccur, again. Matter of fact it can happen late through the pregnancy. Great! Bleeding while pregnant is quite stressful to say the least, even when apparently it is not a big deal.

So, for now, I need to take it easy, with a few restrictions and hopefully NO MORE BLEEDING!

OB/GYN Time!

I had my last ultrasound at the fertility clinic!! Yea! Baby is doing great. Over 150 heart beats per minute, and looking quite larger than the first time we saw him/her.

Now I get to see an OB in Milwaukee, which is wonderful not to have to drive so far for appointments. Although now the IP's need to drive farther :(

I go in two weeks to meet the OB. And then one week after that I go for the CVS, genetic testing. We need to make sure that the baby is not Mike and I's baby ---duh!! So then everything with the legal issues can hopefully go further!!!

I am excited to meet the OB. . . . so now I have to play a short waiting game again.

My due date is 5/13/11, which I just found out today is the Intended Mother's Mother's (does that make sense??) birthday. Her mother passed away when she was younger, I don't know much else, but is seems as though that is a special thing for her. Although most people don't deliver on their due date, I hope I do, if that would be what the IM would want!! How special.

SIDE NOTE: My sister, Morgan was born on my Paternal Great Granfathers Birthday and Olivia was born on my Paternal Great Granmothers Birthday. STRANGE!

Tiny Tiny Baby

Ultrasound today revealed one tiny, tiny six week old baby! Really it was a small cluster of cells with a heart beat, but it was sooooo exciting!

I was so happy for F&D. . . . they (or at least the father) seemed relieved it wasn't twins!! haha So was I. WHOOSH--brow wipe!

It was great to have them there. Hopefully we can figure out all this legal hubbub next week and really start being 100% joyous of this life!!!!

They also found a small blood vessel filled with blood lying right along with the embryo. The U/S tech explained that it is VERY common, about 85% of women have it. She said to expect some light bleeding/discharge in a few days and it should be gone by the time I have the next U/S.

But for now I get to stop taking teh progesterone--woohoo. That is the shot in the butt----not fun! I thought I was going to have to take inuntil 10 weeks, so this is awesome news! I also get to stop taking the baby aspirin, which is not a pleasant thing to chew--GROSS!

So, all in all a great day!! EXCITING!!

+!

Well after an emotional and drama filled two weeks --- we finally got the pregnancy test results---POSITIVE!! Yeah!

I am so excited! F&D are excited! D told me to make it a girl! Ha!

I go back tomorrow for another blood draw (routine). And then we'll see what happens! I am so excited!

I have told Olivia a few times about it -- mostly telling her to be careful of my tummy when she is jumping around. She is so cute -- all she says is "Can I hold it"
Now for teh hard part of explaining to a three year old that this is not our baby. HAHA
I am not too worried - she'll get it. She is a smart girl!

YEAH FOR BABIES!

Miracles Do Happen

Yesterday I received a daunting call. The egg donor had been in a car accident! YIKES! Luckily she walked away with only a concussion.

Unfortunately on the donation side of things she missed a days worth of medication while in the hospital. So for about 24 hours it was up in the air whether we would be able to continue on with this cycle.

After everything else that has happened to kind of set us back, I was not hopeful. I had an upset stomach all day -- and watching the gut wrenching Brewer game didn't help either (: But alas, Carrie called and said her follicles look great and we are retrieving on Friday! Goodness gracious, God is on our side!!

So, after that little scare hopefully nothing else can go wrong, right?

Just a quick update

Nothing exciting here,just wanted to update real quick.

Started the meds again. Rolling right along. My first baseline appointment is next week (ultrasound of my uterus and bloodwork). EXCITING!!!

I wouldn't say that I am less excited this time around -- but I would say that I am a bit apprehensive. I understand that the outcome might not be favorable. The first time around I thought it would be a piece of cake. How hard can it be to get pregnant??

Well apparently it takes quite a bit of effort. So this time around I am being extra cautious. I have even taken off of work for the weekend after the embryo transfer and declared to my husband I will be a COUCH POTATO. Milking it?? Maybe ;) But I should get something out of this deal too right. haha

Maybe there are foods out there that help pregnancy -- please God let it be chocolate!! But really --if bananas help, carrots, rutabaga whatever. I'll try it. I just hated the sense of disappointment last time. I felt disappointed - so I know F&D had to be disappointed.

So for now, I am going to keep o keeping on.

Could this be it??

The intended parents have found a new egg donor!!! Apparently she is great--has donated before and everything went smoothly. Let's pray it goes the same this time!!

I start the meds on Olivia's birthday (July 24th) and the intended date of transfer is Aug. 17th.

All I want is to hear a heartbeat --that would bring me such a sigh of relief. Then I know what I am doing -- all this med/invitro stuff is still a little foreign to me. Once I know I have a little baby -or two- in there I can take care of it!

MINOR SETBACK

So, went in for the pregnancy test and it was negative :(

An HCG level under a 5 is negative, and mine was at a 4. So they think that an embryo began to grow but just didn't make it. SAD

So, I will be stopping all of my medication today and awaiting my menstrual cycle. Once that happens I need to go back in for blood work (to make sure my HCG levels go down and the embryo has left my uterus.) Then begin the regimen again.

Not looking forward to the headaches that come with all of that Lupron. . . but I am confident it will all work out.

Next time we are using a different egg donors eggs. These were crap----doctor's words, not mine. haha

I try to look at this as only a minor set back -- it will happen.

So, I probably won't post much for awhile, I am assuming it will be the same as the last few weeks. But of course if something new happens, I will fill ya'll in!

Embryo Transfer

Well, the transfer was on Friday. . . just now getting around to writing about it. OOPS!

The transfer was pretty non-climactic. IS THAT A WORD??? OH WELL. The Valium that I took was the craziest thing ever. I felt like I weighed a ton, I couldn't even walk unassisted.
One of the nurses said "Yea, you feel pretty loopy if you are not used to it." Why in the world would I be used to the feeling of Valium, and if I was used to it I probably shouldn't be carrying another couples child.

Which reminds me, I have never been drug tested. Unless they have done it with out my knowledge (which I feel is illegal, but maybe not?). But I thought that was crazy and probably one of the first things they would do.

Back to the transplant. . . they ended up putting in three embryos instead of the intended two. I guess one embryo was a grade "C". Best being "A", so they decided to throw that one in there too ;)

The pregnancy test is not until next Thursday (2 weeks after the transfer). And agonizing 2 weeks. I bet it is hard on the intended parents as well. My breasts are feeling very tender --so hopefully that is a good sign. Although with all the hormone medication that I am on my body thinks that it is pregnant anyway I think. But we will see next Thursday. Until then I will keep on chugging along with the meds. Third progesterone shot tonight. Mike is already an old pro at administering it!!

What would I do with out him. . . . aaaaaaa. .... .. xoxoxo

First Progesterone Shot

Well, Mike did a great job with my first progesterone shot. I was worried since he is not a fan of needles. But I had him practice the last few days with the Lupron. And he did great. The shot itself didn't hurt that bad. Definitely uncomfortable -- but more of a sting than pain. Afterward is another story though. My muscle definitely hurts. Not to mention I have to teach a dance to my cheer team tomorrow. Probably won't be the most pleasant experience ever, but has to be done. Friday is the day for the embryo transfer. So I will keep on keeping on. And hope and pray all goes well the first time around.

11mm Lining!

Today I had my second ultrasound and blood work.

Just got the call that my estrogen levels look great and that my lining is at 11 mm. I am not sure the appropriate width of uterine lining for this stage . . . .but the nurse seemed very pleased.

Turns out my estrogen levels are so good that I don't have to take Estrace either. Looks like the donor will be going a few days early. I hope that means I go in for the embryo transfer before the 22nd!! (I have to work. . . . )

MEDS, MEDS, and more MEDS

So, I have been on the medications for about a week now. Nothing too crazy at all. Lupron is the first medication (via injection). I have been on this one before about 2 years ago when I did egg donation. Wednesday I need to go to Highland Park for an ultrasound to make sure nothing crazy is going on with my uterus and also for some blood work to check my hormone levels!!!

1st Doctors Appointment

Thursday Mike and I had to go to the first doctors appointment.

It went great!!!

Mike had to give blood -- hehe -- he is not a fan of giving blood. He only had to give 6 viles I had to give 10!!!!

After that, I got to meet Dr. Kaplan and I had a sterile wash ultrasound (they put in a small catheter and inject sterile water to open up the uterus to take a look). They said my uterus looked "beautiful" -- I think it was a compliment :/

After that I met with the awesome nurse Caryl, and we went over my medicine regimen. And holy crap there are A LOT of medications. WOWSERS!

The one that concerns me the most would have to be the very large 1 1/2 inch long needle that Mike needs to "dart into my butt" --Caryn's words, not mine. He is not good with needles, I am fine with them as long as Mike is not at the other end of them. So this should be interesting.

If all goes as planned I should be pregnant on Jan. 25th. I am so happy for F&D. I bet they have so many mixed emotions.

FD

So I haven't updated in awhile. . . but not much happened. . . UNTIL NOW!!

New parents --we'll refer to them as "FD"

Just so we are all clear -- they are A-MAZING!!!

I am so excited to get things a rollin'.

My first doctors appointment in Dec 10th. We'll see what happens. . .maybe drugs right away? I hope I don't turn into a hormonal witch -- or do I? Well at least if I am crabby I always have something to blame!!

Intended Parents #1

Mike and I went and met a couple and they were FABULOUS!!! They already have one daughter (4 1/2 years old). So this will be their second child. They have went through a lot of hardships trying to get pregnant again. Once they realized that her eggs were not working they decided to use an egg donor. Even with the donors eggs it wasn't working. So that brings me into their picture.

After our meeting we decided to work together. Needless to say Mike and I were elated--they were such a great couple.


Today though we unfortunately found out that it will not work out with them. They would need to take out an additional $30,000 insurance policy on me -- to cover the entire pregnancy. And it is not something that they are financially ready for right now. So, unfortunately we can not work together.

Which means, there will be a second trip to Chicago to meet a second set of parents. Not the greatest thing . . . putting yourself out there like that. More so for the parents than Mike and I. But we will do it!!

Just a minor set back --- but I guess it was not meant to be.

Good News!!

Well today we got good news. The psychiatrist doesn't think Mike and I are crazy and I am not diabetic!!

WOO - HOO

Now Mike and I have to mail in the contract and we will set up a meeting with the intended parents. I can't wait to meet them - nervous, but excited!