30 weeks pregnant!!! 10 weeks to go.
Holy cow! I feel like I should be panicking, but I am not at all. It is such a relief to know that I am not having to care for this baby after birth. I keep thinking of all the things I would have to be doing and getting ready if this were our baby. Boy, am I glad I don't have to do any of that. Don't get me wrong, I am not completely heartless, I do expect some sadness and many tears once this is over. But happy tears and happy sadness (there is such a thing, right?) I will be sad when the experience is over. I have learned so much about myself, my body (pregnancy #2 is WAAAY different than pregnancy #1), my marriage ( I have an amazingly supportive husband, clearly), and patience. I think patience is a big one, surrogacy is kind of a long drawn out process. I am sure even more so for the intended parents than me.
Some days when I don't want to be pregnant anymore I have to look deep inside for the purpose of this. It is not that hard when you are having your own baby to look forward to. But thinking of F&D with their new addition brings a HUGE smile to my face. They are going to be wonderful parents and I am so excited to be a part of their journey. So, mostly the honor I feel and gratefulness gets me through those rough days (and there aren't many.)
This winter/pregnancy has kind of been kicking my butt with colds. . . . and now the dreaded influenza. BLAH!! Mike had been sick for a few days, NyQuil'd up and was better. Then Olivia was sick with an eye infection and then . . . me. So when I went for my regular OB appointment, I mentioned it and I thought I would just get on the Z-pack and be fine in a day or two. Well turns out, I have influenza. :(
I honestly don't recall ever actually having a confirmed case of the flu. You know, people use the term so loosely these days, with self diagnosis and all. ( I admit I am a self diagnoser too!!) But this time it is for real- lab confirmed and all. And if any of you have had the flu confirmed, you know that sticking a Q-tip six inches into your nose is no joke!!! OUCHY WAHWAH!!!
So, now I sit, as I have since Wednesday afternoon, in my room curled up in bed. A bed Mike has vacated since the diagnosis. I am soooo bored!! I tend to count things, stripes on the wall (6), ceiling fan blades (5), indentations on the door (5, 10 if I am also counting the closet door). As you can tell these numbers aren't very high at all and must be continues over and over to actually eat up some time. When I am not counting, I am sleeping and SWEATING! I am currently taking Tamiflu, a side effect being extreme night sweats. They are horrible. Not the sweating so much, because that happens when I am sleeping, but the second I wake up, it is as if a switch is flipped and I am freezing, shivering and soaking wet. Last night I woke up once and the whole bed and my clothes were wet, my first thought was MY WATER BROKE! And then I remembered -- oh I am just a sweaty mess, and I have to change clothes, again.
While I am feeling much better, I can't seem to find the strength or stamina to do much of anything required to keep this household running. Thank goodness for mothers. My mom drove down Wednesday night (a 4hour drive) to stay with me. This enabled Mike to go to work, where he is also desperalty needed and felt very torn with the decision to stay home or go to work. She spent the day entertaining Olivia and letting me rest. Which made me feel completely at ease. I would wake up from a nap and just sit and listen to those two interacting, they are soooo cute.
This post may not be much about the baby/pregnancy, but that is because it is still the same. Easy going, not much to report. Oh, the doctor did say he will be about 7.5 - 8 lbs. Which to me seems like a whooper - since Olivia was only 6.2. But I guess this is an average size baby. So in 10 weeks we shall see.
Until then I am going to try to avoid sick people. HA - yea right!